Pregnancy Humor Poem - Halloween Trick or Treat

by Ryan Centaur
(Gresham, Oregon, USA)

Have you ever wondered what to dress for Halloween during pregnancy? The perfect Halloween Costume takes some time to prepare when you are pregnant. Here is a funny pregnancy poem which reveals that every expecting woman’s pregnancy is a costume on its own.

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My Husband says he is worried.
I think he’s ‘AFFRRAAAID!”
That we may become parents on the…
Eve of Saint Hallows Day!


It certainly concerns me-
(But not the way he thinks)
Because my body is changing
Like I’ve been in Dr. Jeckel’s drinks.


I first noticed it,
When with the waning moon-
I decided I would take my feet,
And instead I took a swoon!


Now, feinting spells are all the rage
For the ladies and the queen,
But I was pale as a GHOST,
And my feet could not be seen!


But no, I’ll not be ghostly;
That’s not the role for me.
I’m closer to a HUNGRY BEAST
I eat everything I see!


Of Monsters I could take my pick,
But of the fabled three,
My legs look just like FRANKENSTEINS’!
(From the ankle to the knee.)


Like the UNDEAD, I’m a party mix
Of Monsters from the moor.
At work, I groan and lumber
My arse dragging on the floor.


My legs – They look like WOLFMAN’s,
(My Mustache! Eek! As well.)
My Rack, that’s pure Elvira,
(My Husband thinks that’s ‘swell.’)


The green I turn when I smell fish?
Now, that’s a WITCHES’ hue.
And peeing every time I eat?
That’s what VULTURES do!


I toss and turn; I’m up all night,
I want to sleep all day.
I crave the salt of any meat-
And that’s the VAMPIRE way!

I don’t know why my Husband worries;
It makes perfect sense to me.
I’ve been TRICKED thru this nine months,
To get a TREAT on Halloween!

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